Super Bowl Update
The biggest sporting event in the entire history of all sports is only two days away. Can you believe it's this close? No. It seems like months since the last playoff game. Like it is never going to happen. As if we are in some strange Twilight Zone episode where we spend the rest of our lives waiting for the game, but it never gets here because time has stopped. How long has it really been? Consider this: at the time of the AFC and NFC championship games, Howard Dean was the front runner, presumptive Democratic party nominee, and not completely nuts. YEEEAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!

According to this, the official Super Bowl website, there are scheduled to be more performers performing at the Super Bowl this year than spectators attending. For those Super Bowl entertainment fanatics (both of them) who don't want to miss a single minute of the pregame spectacular, I am sorry to report that the show has already been going on for at least 37 hours, and has already featured great performances by, among others, Tony Orlando, Sting, Roy Orbison and Elvis.

There isn't a great deal of bragging going on among Patriots fans. Sure our team won it all two years ago. Sure they have a 14 game winning streak going. Sure they're favored to beat the North/South Carolina Pumas, or whatever they are called. But, hey, most Patriots fans are Red Sox fans, too, so we don't count anything until it happens. And even then, we don't feel completely confident something won't change.

Anyway, hoping for the best, and always a bit worried, we prepare ourselves to watch the game the only way we know how: by getting completely tanked.

Go Pats!

Texas Superbowl Humor
Scroll down the blog to find the joke (bottom of "Day 1").

What? Not Enough Hype?
Low key is how Pats fans like it.

McLiver Failure
Fast food of death!

Shameless Self Promotion
Are you a failure as a parent? Get in line.

Who Says Russians Only Care About Vodka
They sent in the army to save 10 tons of beer.

Shameless Self Promotion
First of all: The Pats Rock!

Mr. Co-MVP Golden Arm Peyton Manning was intercepted something like 25 times; the last dozen times he appeared to have given up and had started tossing the football underhand. So the Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl, this year being played in Houston. My bold Super Bowl prediction is that a headline writer after the game will think he is being original and use the phrase "Texas Hold-'em."

But with 13 days left before the Big Game, you have plenty of time to read this.

Signs of an Alien Life Form Discovered
At it wasn't found on Mars. It was spotted in California.

Proof that Drugs Cause Brain Damage
This guy could be a poster child.

Although It's Brutally Cold and the Patriots Are In the Playoffs, It's Still a Good Time to Talk Baseball.
Cubs fans, more bad news. You now have Grady.

Severe Weather (Freakin' Cold) Update
We made it through the worst. Last night the temperature in eastern Massachusetts dropped to something like -20 or -30 degrees with a wind chill factor in the negative thousands. Then the power went out. Luckily, it came back on in an hour, so we didn't freeze to death in our sleep. School was cancelled for today, so it was a toss up which was better, freezing to death or staying home with the kids.

Looking ahead, the temperature should climb up to freezing by the time the Patriots play on Sunday. This will be quite a bit warmer than last week's game when at the end some of the seldom used players had to be unfrozen from the bench using a blow torch. There could be some light snow, however. But what do you expect when you play an outdoor sport in January?

Go Pats! Thirteen straight wins and going for 15!

Bush's New Space Initiative
Perhaps they'll find Cheney there.

Curt, If You're Out There, Let's Hear From You
The Red Sox's new cyber dude.

This Blog Agrees...
This would be a hard property to unload.

Thanks for the Warning
This contest is better than the Oscars.

Shameless Self Promotion
Increase your Spam by 150% by reading this.

Weather Update for Saturday's Patriots Playoff Game
NASA scientists say the temperature on Mars is 96 degrees below zero, which is much warmer than it has been here in New England. We are experiencing a major cold snap, defined as "cold enough to freeze air." We are told that tomorrow's game time temperature is predicted to be in the "seriously messed up" range, and to expect frozen balls. The footballs will also be really cold.

Go Pats!

Fat, Lazy and Stupid
Apparently, he'll claim in court that his television's on/off switch was broken, too.

Lawsuit Quote of the Day: "I believe the reason that I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched the TV everyday for the last four years"

Pike Just Want To Have Fun
All of a sudden it's a crime to give fish champagne?

Crime of the Century
Why you shouldn't drink on the job.

NASA Mars Mission a Success
Photos from Spirit providing proof of strange Martian life form.

Another New Mexico Story About a Dead (Sort of) Person
Maybe being near Roswell has something to do with this.

Return to Life Corpse Quote of the Day: Padilla, 94, was rushed back to the same hospital, but did not recover. He was declared dead for a second time. [Blog's Note: The funeral director said he was surprised when the man came back to life. I bet he was, but imagine how the dead guy felt.]

Gals, Don't You Hate it When Your Vacation Ends This Way...
Coming home and finding your ex-husband's dead body hanging out an air conditioning duct?

Dead Ex-Husband Quote of the Day: Their home was cold when they returned on Tuesday and they went to the bathroom to see if the heater had been shut off. When they looked up, they saw the legs hanging from the ceiling.

Shameless Self Promotion
Go Pats! Football Mania Hits Hub