Writing Contest Results Are In! It's Official: I'm a Freakin' Hoser
The Gather.com results for Round One of the First Chapters contest (which in conjunction with Touchstone/Simon & Schuster is looking for a new, unpublished novelist) are in, and I - along with 2, 580 others - didn't make the cut. The twenty remaining contestants and their first two chapters can be found by clicking here. Over the next few weeks I will take a fresh look at my story, consider some of the suggestions and comments posted, do some editing, and go back to sending it out. Chances are that more chapters from my book Simon Sez, Help! will be posted somewhere, either on SimonSezHelp.com, and/or on Gather.com in the coming weeks. I will let everyone know where they can find it once I decide. Thanks again to all who participated.

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Opening Day for the Red Soagggghhhhhhhhhhhx!

It said I can embed this, but I doubt it.

Update: Cool, it worked.

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My only question is, where did the monkey get bus fare?

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Any Major League teams looking for a shortstop? Maybe they need to look up north. (Thanks to Jeff, for sending me this link, eh.)

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Keith Richards and his dad probably had an unusual relationship to begin with. But he is not the only one.

Breaking News: Now he says he was joking. Of course he was.

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I think the bonobo apes should name them Brad and Angelina. Of course, the apes can't do any worse than parents when it comes to names. Maybe we should just let apes do all the naming from now on.

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"Ma'am, I would like to see your driver's license and horse registration, please." She should have taken a Zamboni, instead.

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Beijing Olympics 2008 Update: A fly bounty.

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"What do you feel like doing today?" "I duuno, maybe drive a tank?"