More Pap Means Less Palpitations
The effect on the team will be like being stuck on a Sudoku puzzle then realizing that a nine fits in this square here and suddenly the rest of the puzzle falls into place. Jonathan Papelbon is back as the closer for the Red Sox, and all the other relievers can breath a sigh of relief that they won't have to. As for us fans, all is rainbows and unicorns again in Red Sox Nation. The feeling right now in the last week of spring training is similar to being a kid two days before Christmas, when anything is still possible. The team is definitely a KATOP (Kick-Ass Team on Paper). Now they just need 96 plus regular season wins and 11 post season wins to prove it. By the way, Patriots fans should be feeling all rainbows and unicorns right through Labor Day since with all the Pats moves they are a major KATOP also. It should be a good summer.

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We have to assume UFOs are not real, otherwise France would have surrendered to the aliens decades ago.

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How's the March Madness Brackets going? Here's Dwight from The Office checking his.

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I guess this is better than watching Wheel of Fortune.

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There is hope for me.

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All I'm saying is that I hope he isn't thinking about supermodels when he has his arms around a goat.

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But the dog was turned away when they discovered it didn't have medical insurance.

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Didn't the same thing happen on an episode of Three's Company?

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This story is about bread and elephants or something, but the important point is that the guy's name in Frank Formica. Like the counter tops. And to think, I could have been Lee Linoleum.

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ONCE AGAIN, A SELF-PROMOTION WARNING:
You Can Help Me To Become A Published Novelist!
The website, Gather.com, is conducting a contest called First Chapters with Touchstone/Simon & Schuster to find and publish a new author. By reading my submission, which is the first chapter of my book, and giving it a fair (i.e: high) rating, I might make it past the first round of 2,500 entries that is being whittled down to 20. You will need to sign up as a member of Gather.com to vote, but it is free and doesn’t hurt or cause lightheadedness or anything.

The story I submitted is called Simon Sez, Help! Learn more about the book here. It is a Young Adult novel about a boy and a ghost and their friendship, sort of like Old Yeller, but with less barking. There is also a really mean school headmaster and a lot of really cool stuff that happens in subsequent chapters that will never be read by millions of children unless the book advances. You don’t want that on your conscience, do you? By the way, my sons Kevin and Chris have read the entire manuscript and both gave the book a completely unbiased two thumbs up. This first phase of the contest ends March 30th, so don’t wait. This is the link that brings you right to my entry. Thanks.