SELF-PROMOTION WARNING:
You Can Help Me To Become A Published Novelist!
The website, Gather.com, is conducting a contest called First Chapters with Touchstone/Simon & Schuster to find and publish a new author. By reading my submission, which is the first chapter of my book, and giving it a fair (i.e: high) rating, I might make it past the first round of 2,500 entries that is being whittled down to 20. You will need to sign up as a member of Gather.com to vote, but it is free and doesn’t hurt or cause lightheadedness or anything. The story I submitted is called Simon Sez, Help! It is a Young Adult novel about a boy and a ghost and their friendship, sort of like Old Yeller, but with less barking. There is also a really mean school headmaster and a lot of really cool stuff that happens in subsequent chapters that will never be read by millions of children unless the book advances. You don’t want that on your conscience, do you? By the way, my sons Kevin and Chris have read the entire manuscript and both gave the book a completely unbiased two thumbs up. This first phase of the contest ends March 30th, so don’t wait. This is the link that brings you right to my entry. Thanks.

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JetBlue figures a fleet of these would look mighty impressive not flying anywhere.

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Sir, is that a banana in your pocket or are you a terrorist?

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How are your March Madness brackets shaping up after the first weekend?

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You're not going to get this type of service on JetBlue.

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I refuse to resort to immature jokes using the phrase "highest court in the land." At PfB we have our standards, as few of them as there are.

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Free land in Alaska sounded like a good idea until I read that it started as a school project (see above item).

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He probably simply forgot to pay, or blacked out, or something.

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Links to Stuff Mentioned in This Week's Column:
A typical Ten-Speed Bike. This is one step earlier in the evolution of the bike. Here is the evolution of man. And the evolution of the stick man. The similarities between this and this may not at first be apparent, but they are felt. There's nothing like a good biker movie. Bike racing is not as easy as it looks. Many human rights groups, such as Amnesty International, are examining possible voting irregularities.