Soft As Grapes
This morning Kevin wanted jelly on his toast. This has been a problem lately because the jar of Welch's Concord Grape Jelly we have is the plastic kind fitted with their new, "easy-open," special Immovable Lid of Satan. It has gotten progressively harder to open each time, but today it escalated to the level of requiring plumber's tools. I had to get a pipe wrench to budge the lid. I have only one question for the people responsible at Welch's and who in my opinion should be fired immediately: Shouldn't you try these new designs out in real world conditions first? What will I need to use the next time?

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You snicker now, but if you were trapped in a fire would you care what he wears? On second thought, you might want to stay in the fire once you see the full view.

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For Easter, it's just me and my peeps hanging out. Ever try them warm?

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Does this mean Sanjaya would be out of the Boys Happy Voice contest?

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This isn't funny, but every time I see a headline with his name in it, I think it says Kevorkian and I figure he wants to euthanize Chrysler.

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Scientists prove that earworms exist. Scroll down for a list of songs that most commonly drive people crazy.

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Don't mess with old, German women. Quote of Note: "she set a trap, hid in a toilet, and caught the thief red-handed."

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Romanian men are tough, also. Just don't offer them a pickle.

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On the positive side, they're fed carrots and sugar lumps after the appointment.

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The long, um, arm of the law. Quote of Note, which pretty much sums it up: "She was obviously unaware of how thorough our officers are in their searches."