And The Winner Is...
If you are reading this today, I am going to assume you are among the two billion humans who played but didn't win last night's MegaMillions lottery. (Amazingly, the numbers were 1-2-3-4-5 and the Mega Ball 6. If you had some other random number combination, oh let's say, 16- 22-29-39-42 and Mega Ball 20, then don't bother contacting anyone or checking the newspaper and immediately mail the ticket to me unsigned. I am an avid paper recycler. ) If I had won, beside doing all the usual stuff like donating to worthy causes, making sure family members are taken care of along with the next four generations of my offspring, I would have tried to buy a small share of the Boston Red Sox, just so I could get good seats, the occasional VIP treatment at Fenway, and receive the generous ten percent owner discount at the concession stands. Just dreamin', I guess.

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Oh great, it's the Gene Simmons of the lizard world.

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Be afraid. Be very afraid. It's the attack of the Carnivore Calf. Terror has a new sound: Moo.

It makes this upcoming movie seem all the more prophetic.

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The world of flat, professionally drawn people will mourn today. Surprisingly, Captain America wasn't as imposing a figure in 3-D.

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Why were we never informed that the earth has a hole in it?

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Just two zany love birds getting hitched.

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If you think this is bad (and it is), wait until he asks to make a withdrawal.

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When glamping, do you go to the bathroom in a glatrine? (Which probably reminds some people of a ATM kiosk.)

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Having once been a boy scout during an entire summer including a week at Boy Scout Internment Camp, I have to say I am totally amazed this doesn't happen more often.