Space Oddity
In writing, you always try to find the one detail that explains more than a thousand words could. When it comes to the story of Lisa Nowak, the astronaut charged with attempted murder, that detail is how she wore a diaper to drive from Texas to Florida so she wouldn't need potty stops on her way to confront her victim. That detail sums up everything going on inside Nowak's head. It was perfect.

Watching the news about the incident last night, a reporter from Orlando was doing a standup for a Boston station, and the Orlando reporter used three "he/she used to...but now he/she" comparisons. For instance, if it were a story about a circus acrobat who is now a prostitute, the reporter would say (somehow without cracking a smile, which I find amazing): "She used to walk a tightrope, but now she walks the streets." The reporter last night offered this triple play of journalistic gems, which I am paraphrasing as best as I can remember them: "She used to be a hero, but now she is charged with attempted murder," ""She used to wear a space suit, but now she wears an orange jump suit," and finally, "She used to go into outer space, but now she will go back to Houston after making bail." (For a moment I thought she was going to say, "but now she is going to prison." I would have snorted diet Pepsi across the family room if she had.) All three "used to but now" comparisons were made within a sixty second report. If that is not a record, it is close.

Between stories about astronauts gone wild and Iraq, we have the ten or twenty thousand daily stories about American Idol. The theme of most articles this year being whether or not American Idol is more mean than in past years. Personally, I don't see it. Obviously, the editors could leave out miles of tape showing the judges being as nice as Mary Poppins or as nasty as Don Rickles. But from what's aired, the judges seem as merciless as usual with what we can dub the Deluded Class. These are people who for some reason can't self evaluate. There are people on the show with real talent who just fall short, and there are people just looking for air time, but every season there is a huge segment who is gawd awful, with no talent, but they don't see it. What else are they not realizing about themselves and the world around them? It could explain a lot about society. If there aren't already, there should be graduate level anthropological courses at major universities, such as Harvard, based solely on these people auditioning.

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You know how you wake up next to your spouse with morning breath? This is worse.

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Wait! Prince doesn't drive a Corvette, too, does he?

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"What could you possible be doing all that time in the bathroom? Googling?"